Awky Maz – ‘get away from her!’

Awky Maz

Another embarrassing moment I just remembered that needs to be documented asap before I permanently block it out!

Screen Shot 2015-04-08 at 23.03.03We were on a weird wine induced night out with a big group of us girls in Paris. We’d been to a metro party that was basically a massive flop because the police were hot on our heels, ha. Everyone was still in high spirits though and we were deciding if it was worth abandoning the cramped metros and rude organisers (errrrr don’t drink all my alcohol svp) and heading to a club instead. As we were leaving the underground station I heard a girl we’d met that night scream at some guy to leave her alone. ‘Just get off me!’ etc etc. Obviously it wasn’t a pleasant situation and no one seemed to be reacting or helping her out. He was being persistent and wouldn’t back off and go home like she’d repeated over and over. So I stepped in, pushed him aside and reassured him that she was better off without his harassment. No one needs random guys trying to cling on all night so in my eyes I was doing what I hoped any of my friends would do for me.

He actually seemed quite genuine and wanted to make sure she was ok. I told him, ‘Hey randomer, leave us alone, we’re all good without you thank you very much. Go home like she asked, we’re trying to have a good night’. He eventually left. The end, happy days, right?

Nope! Turns out he was the girls boyfriend of like 2 years and they lived together. ERRRRRR FAIL MARY. Not only had I told her boyfriend to leave us alone but before I’d found out who he was I’d gone to girl and vented about what a creep and loser he was.

Until next awkward moment eh

Mary

x

‘I see blood!’ another fab Wednesday – 1st October 2014

Au Pairing in Paris

I’m sitting on the toilet writing this. With the seat down don’t worry, listening to P splashing around in the bath. She should of come out 10 minutes ago but she’s way too busy playing with a pink watering can and plastic cup to care about our evening schedule.

Fast forward a few hours and I’m on the sofa thinking about how dull my evening has been. I was asked to babysit tonight; usually I wouldn’t mind but Wednesdays are literally the day of the devil for me so it feels like the day has been dragging on for weeks/months/years/ I don’t even know anymore. I’m so exhausted!

This morning I helped get the kids ready again and then had 2 hours before I needed to pick them up from school (how pointless is that?! Going to school for just over 2 hours, crazyness). I fell asleep to an episode of Friends; at 10am my alarms went off and I had that mini panic attack of thinking it was first thing in the morning and I’d slept in. Thankfully that wasn’t the case.

I picked up all 3 munchkins and started the 10 minute mission of walking home without a fight or accident occurring. P wailed the whole way back because I didn’t bring a biscuit for her (lunch was on the table at home, i’m not starving her don’t worry guysies). I got some great awkward looks from snobby mothers who must think I’m torturing these kids from the way they cry so much. All was going well in the morning – I got F dressed and ready for ballet and put the twins to bed for their nap time. J said he couldn’t sleep on his own though so we had a long sleepy cuddle until he drifted off and I could tiptoe away.

When F returned from ballet we watched Bratz movie (what a classic) and then Life Size (Lohan and Tyra Banks at their finest) before waking up the little ones. Sleepy 3 years olds are my favourite kind because they’re too tired to scream, shout, kick or punch. As soon as they regained their energy though the house was filled with ‘NOOOOOOOOO, LEAVE ME ALONE’ & ‘ REALLY MARY YOU ARE NOT NICE, OUR LAST NANNY WAS A LOT NICER THAN YOU’- yay. I struggled with their out-of-no-where aggression and we ended up watching each other dance to One Direction songs. Somewhere this turned into a kicking match and I’m pretty sure F got kicked in the eye. The next thing I know, F is screaming ‘I see blood, Mary she’s bleeding!’ cool. P’s lip was bleeding (a tiny tiny dot of blood to be fair), I sent them all to their rooms and made their dinner and then dunked them all in the bath quickly and had the fun job of washing their hair.

‘Mummy’s home!’ means I’m out of the picture and luckily I’m not responsible for injuries anymore. We sat and watched Krypto the Superdog and Baby Looney Tunes before their mum disappeared again and I was in charge of bed time. The twins bedroom looked like a bomb had hit it; I’m guessing it was the aftermath of being sent to their rooms… We played ‘put the clothes on the wolf’, a very strange magnetic board game and I read a princess story to F.  They all fell asleep pretty quickly and I was stuck in the house all evening (mega bored) because I was babysitting whilst most of my friends were out celebrating the end of another stressful Wednesday.

Until next dreaded Wednesday…

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Mary  (bisous)